Ever since I was young I always watched how well my mom and dad got along. They are not only romantic, but they are best friends. When it came to my sister and I dating, we were always taught that we shouldn’t label a boy as being a boyfriend unless he was husband material. Neither of us had a boyfriend during high school partially because the only options were young and immature.
Growing up in this structured household really limited all of my dating choices. Another reason I didn’t have a boyfriend during high school was because I watched my best friend go through endless boyfriends; they all treated her horribly. Watching her experiences made me not one of my own. I guess looking back that wasn’t a good idea because everyone is different, but I didn’t want to set myself up for failure and at the same time I was still looking for a long term thing.
My sister dated the same guy on and off all through college. He was a nice guy, but she’s my sister so I’ll always think she can do better. They got engaged a year after she had a stable job. The engagement fell through, but I couldn’t help but be happy. She’s now 26 and has been dating a guy for a little over a year now. My family and I think he’s great and I really hope that they get married.
As for me, I had my first boyfriend my first semester at JMU, which was this past fall because I transferred here. To my dismay it was a horrible relationship, it literally defined the disaster relationship. We dated for a mere 8 months and it was nothing but lying, obsessing, and verbal abuse. In the back of my mind I think I knew it would never work because I hid it from my parents. I tried to introduce him to my mom after we first met and she didn’t like him off the bat, so I knew I couldn’t tell her or my dad I was serious about him.
Luckily, I am now out of that hole and I am starting fresh again. Relationships are tough especially when you see how others are and turn out. Everyone needs to make their own experiences though and find things out on their own, despite how you were raised. I think I need to date lots of guys and see what I like and don’t like in them to see what will make husband material.